NO LOVE BACK.

You are the reason why I could write about love. You are the ripped pages, the pages no one ever knew about, the pages lost somewhere at the back of my mind, or crumpled, thrown somewhere in the corner of my heart. I just couldn't lay my finger on why or how or since when did you just decide to feel like a million miles away from me... But more than that, what I couldnt understand was how I couldn't seem to stop myself from loving someone who disappeared on me, someone who didn't want to talk about things, who seemingly ignored all the messages I sent, or took so long to reply, who replied too little and often, won't reply at all. I couldn't understand how I could continue to love someone who was deliberately pushing me away, someone who can make me hurt so badly, someone who decided to exit my life, and still... Love that someone even then... And most especially then.

I just woke up from this dream and realized that you were nowhere near, that I couldn't be closer to you even if I pulled you in my arms. I can't explain to you how it feels to look into your eyes, and see my reflection, but never finding me there. I wanted to talk to you. I tried. But you were somewhere my words couldn't reach; you were gone. I have always wondered whether you just woke up one day like that too, and realized that you didn't love me anymore. I wondered what you were thinking, how you were feeling and if I had a fighting chance at all to change your mind.
I LOVE YOU JIM GATUNA BUT...

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