Posts

Showing posts from 2018
PrEP
Its  my friend
the surest way i have escaped the chances of me contracting HIV
but it has no problem when you bring condom around
infact it shouts that "i love when condom is always a part of our journey"
I ONLY avoid HIV
Condom my friend cubs STD like gonohorrea
we shall only make your life easy when you deside to be our friend
PrEP and CONDOM  KEEPS YOUR SEXUAL JOURNEY SAFE

THE FORGE OF A NEW PATH

THE FORGE OF A NEW PATH BY:Panamus Cmanto They have been ,in my time  the living proof of the fabulous nature of this collective dream toward achieving achieving the global goal of zero Aids. But for the moment ,they have turn away from those generalized,macrocosmic notions to concentrate upon a more private ritual:HIV/AIDs,was nevertheless quite imaginary;into a mythical land ,a country which would never exist except by efforts of a phenomenal collective will- except in a dream we all agreed to dream that has been a mass fantasy shared in varying degrees by NOPE,Unitaid,CHRD and among many other key partners,and would  periodically need the santifaction and renewal which can only be provided by rituals of sacrifices and sensitization amongst us in order to  achieve the 90-90-90 ambitious target of UNAIDs has set. “Due to societal pressure i was forced to marry to cover shame and that was not a very good decision,”Lucy Wanjiku Director of Positive Young Women Voices  said adding that she…
Image
I have been,in my times the living proof of the fabulous nature of this collective dream;but for a moment ,i shall turn away from those generalized,macrocosmic notions to concentrate upon a more private ritual.HIV/AIDs!Was nevertheless quite imaginary;into a mythical
Image
Today being the day i was born,i look back and feel a touch of pride at my younger self's dedication to literature,activism and aviation which have always given me the strength of mind to resist the blandishments of enemies of promise.. I was born at Bondeni Maternity on 1st June 1996.And the time?The time matters,too.Well then at night.No,its important to be more...On the stroke of midnight,as a matter of fact.Clock-hands joined palms in respectful greeting as i came.Oh,spell it out,spell it out:at the precise instant of Kenya's celebration as a free state on Madaraka Day,i tumbled forth into the world.There were gasps.And,outside the window,fireworks and crowds.A few seconds later,my father broke his big toe;but his a mere trifle when set beside what had befallen me in that benighted moment,because thanks to the occult of tyrannies of those blandly saluting clocks i had been mysteriously handcuffed to history,my destinies indissolubly chained to those of my country.For the …
Image
In the renewed silence,i return to sheets of paper which smell just a little of turmeric ,ready and willing to put out of its misery a narrative which i left yesterday hanging in the mid-air...(enjoy the broken parts of its coming soon)

The Who I Am

Portrait as real me Sometimes I feel. I should have been born an abortion. I was born with a life laid down for me. And I'm confused. I'm not the boy my mother brought up to be. I'm not the pussy loving guy my peers think I am. But . I wonder how this world is. There are those who never see the greatness in a man, those who will never see me as anything more than a cocksucker- Yet I am a poet too. Even as I speak. Some is baying for my blood. Everyday I struggle to break chains And all I want is to live peacefully, My body not being paraded as an outcast, Not to be stared, when I walk with my lover! And I swear I'm saturated with the absorption of all this hate. Why cant this world let everyone be? I have come home ,ran into the deepest of waters. All I offer is my true love.

ARE YOU GAY?

I admit there is no word for my love in my first language.I have to search myself in a foreign tongue. My brain is quite a ruin.This bloody fingers cannot let me drown into obscurity. Have you ever known how to love in survival?How to avoid making love even when your desires are charging you all over? I mean,if God is for us all why is the world against me? Here I am alive but not living.In my language i cannot be found,my body is a a war upon a war.The only way to live is to die. God ..you brought me to this world as a faggot only to deny me a name in my tongue! forgive me I rejected myself for many years & i know what it means. This is the only way to live.My toes digging upon the ground. Do not ask me whether i'm gay. Maybe someday my body will be freed.

HOME COMING

1. The edge of water is the end of the ocean. In Los Angeles I spike my body and wonder how many black bodies are swallowed in the waters. I escape the haunting shadows through a paperback of Danez Smith's Don't call us dead. 2. There are no miracles in this world. Men have always remained what they are. Rivers running through the lands Black bodies being maimed everywhere! Its an erasure Hopes dwindling World peace just a dream We write on palms while fingers press for the bullet We remain silent as a man makes threats of annihilation to a country. 3. I am back at the Place of my birth. At the airport I'm greeted by stares and finger pointings. The faggot is back! 4. By now I do not care what the world says. I have seen everything I should have never seen Black boys being shot cold blank A somali boy setting himself on fire. I regret nothing. I regret nothing except for not telling all the men I have ever had a crush on that I felt something for th…

HOW I WAS FUCKED BY 15 MEN IN A NAIROBI LODGING

I use to surf internet to find new experiences and I was trying to experience a gangbang.I was also trying to test my limts. So I was surfing in grindr for many days and found a few interesing oppurtunities. But one of them struck right.
His name was fred 24 yrs from Runda. I went to meet him in a kuchu pub in Nai Tom mboya street. We had a few drinks and we discussed where and how we are gonna do a gangbang. He told me that he has 3 gym friends who are interested.
So after fixing the date and time I booked the lodging we had agreed here in Nairobi since he knew the management. 
The day came and I went to the lodge at 11 am and took two bottles of vodka with me and started waiting and drinking.
After about half an hour I heard the door knoking. When I opened the door there were some masculine luo men standing outside smiling at me like I was a bitch.I thought I wud talk to Fred that there were too many and I was not ready for it. But before I could even count them they came in and one of …

ACCEPTING MY BODY

I went to a school where boys were beaten and lynched and left to die because of their effeminate bodies.
Those days I learnt how to hold my body in silence like falling leaves in harmattan wind,
,
To die inside a body,to hold my tears as a boys bones are torn into pieces by his classmates.

When I finally left high school ,the first sunday I found myself in a glass taint cathedral.I knelt for too long whispering a prayer to the Virgin Mary,
Poured the holy water on my face ten times as I swallowed words on bodily reincarnation through the Apostle's creed.

When it turned out my desires could no longer be cured I left the church and its doctrines.

I tried to find God in rolls of Marijuana,to find love in chewing of ghats .

I found my body in dirty pits and brothels where men came to find the meaning of life in between women's thighs.
But I was just a boy who had rejected his body.
A boy whose bones ached of love and sands of stingy tongues of love desires overwhelmed him.This was how I le…

A Gay Poet's Prayer.

How do I survive
In a world where love is met with Pangas and bullets?
In a world where love means imprisonment?

So I ask,
God
Let me be the sacrificial litargy
Let my body be the christ that will gay love become African,
Mould my body into a boat,
To carry Lynches, Acids!

I wrote the name of my lover on the waters of the oceans,a name curved in letters inscribed in my soul.
There I said.Go.Go.Go.
Only to see it dissolve
Into nothingness.

Like how words words dissolve on a page of black paint
Queer love written on it.In black and red
For blood and life.

The Origin Of Black Gay Boys

The Origin of black gay boys

At the cathedral
The minister said
It's the end of time
As pictures of two black men kissing projected on the wall as clear as Essex Hemphill's 'American wedding' reads in my mind

Clifton Gachagua thinks gay men should decolonize.

They say go back to the closet
Where it hurts not
They say go back to the closet and kiss darkness

Search me in silence
Where my broken wings make a home in the wild

Scholars postulate that we are a creation of post-modernism
And our voices are too loud to shake the continental make up

They say we are a creation of the whiteman
Something unnatural

HATING YOUR BODY

Before coming out
You will learn how to hate your body,
You will feel awkward and alone but you will have to transform your aloneness and alienness into lyrics of gay blues
And to wear your body like a pullover ,
Search yourself in a mirror
And inhale twice in the morning just to be sure you are alive.

At times you will try to figure out
How to tell your mother
That you will not bring a girl home,
You will feel more dirtier and dirtier
Then you will break into tears holding your body like an eggshell ,
Trying to break it into pieces.

In your heart you will learn to hold the name of the boy
You love
In your tongue.
At night you will wonder of the origin of a boy's beauty,the moon dawning deep inside your bones,
Th